September 2011
2 posts
1 tag
All the wine.
tlbb:
runmartinrun:
All the wine.
All the wine.
Every last drop.
August 2011
2 posts
3 tags
July 2011
2 posts
1 tag
1 tag
June 2011
1 post
1 tag
March 2011
1 post
2 tags
February 2011
1 post
folkinz:
robyn: hang with me
day four of five...
January 2011
1 post
December 2010
2 posts
giantevilhead:
Belle and Sebastian - Dirty Dream...
November 2010
1 post
2 tags
August 2010
9 posts
thatguychad:
Robyn - Criminal Intent Download.
July 2010
1 post
June 2010
3 posts
1 tag
1 tag
3 tags
May 2010
3 posts
2 tags
I busted my third tire within a year on my car and my sister has been dying to trade cars with me for a while, so she offered to get it fixed if we switched. Here are the instructions I received regarding her car:
Sister: Ok, are you sure you understand how to take the navigation screen off?
Me: Yeah, I got it.
Sister: Make sure you take it off if you're in the hood.
Me: What?! I'm NOT going to be in the hood.
Sister: I'm just saying if you are in the hood make sure you take the screen off and turn the bass down because they'll know I have speakers in the trunk.
Me: Why do you think I'm going to be in the hood?
Sister: I don't know where you live.
Me: OMG...
1 tag
April 2010
5 posts
boggle:
Vocal percussing for Jesus!
HAHA.
There is not a better way to send the praise up.
I promised an old employee of mine that I would go to his acappella concert on campus and I convinced Kandyce to go to the show with me. We got here and it’s the Christian acappella group. She’s not really speaking to me right now. I think she needs some Jesus. On a side note, I’m glad I didn’t get wasted beforehand.
3 tags
Hump day customers
Me: Can I help you find something today?
Klassy Kathy: Well, I'm going to visit this guy this weekend. I need to bring him a watch so he'll fuck me Friday and fuck me Saturday. Sunday is for blow jobs.
Me: ...
Klassy Kathy: You don't get customers like me often do you?
Me: No ma'am I don't. (Frown smile)
March 2010
11 posts
2 tags
OMG JARED YOUR AVATAR JUST MADE ME DIE!!!!!!!!
(via mutebutton) OMG. Don’t you love it?! Fergie = my spirit animal 4 life. I decided to share it with the world of tumblr.
If anyone asks me what I did on Saturday night
I will NOT tell them I sat on the couch drinking PBR while watching Nickelodeon’s Kid’s Choice Awards. That would be a lie.
1 tag
Apparently my biological clock is ticking.
Over the past week I had a dream that involved me getting married to woman. Jermainia refused to be in the wedding for that reason. Also, last night I had a dream that I had a baby. Where this baby came from is beyond me. Immaculate coception? I carried it everywhere in one of those contraptions you strap to your chest. WTF.
@andshesback
My ex-boyfriend had a goat. I was forced to pet it because that’s what good boyfriends do. Goats are gross and they smell. We broke up shortly after that experience and the stench of that goat is the one thing I will never forget. I guess that is pretty indicative of our relationship. Moral of the story? Stay away from goats.
Is it possible for me to quit my job today just to enjoy this beautiful weather and then go in tomorrow and say “Just kidding!”?
1 tag
Also, did Morgan Freeman really name is daughter Morgana Freeman? I just decided that I’m naming my daughter Jaredina.
Can someone tell me what Kathy Ireland is on tonight? She’s making me uncomfortable.
1 tag
extrafirmhold:
Paula Abdul - ‘Straight Up’
February 2010
9 posts
1 tag
"Actually, this is her son."
I swear on all things holy that if one more person calls me ma’am on the phone today I’m going to reach through the phone and punch that person right in the mouth. It has happened twice today. When I was younger people would call our house and think I was my mother. I would have to correct them everytime.
1 tag
Service with a smile.
Nickelback begins playing in my store
Customer: You know, I'm really starting to get into Nickelback.
Me: BAHAHAHAHA
1 tag
kiamatthews:
David Broom - Squee Dahboodwee...
tuffghostevan:
when you were young the killers
Things that make me uncomfortable
Old men eating ice cream cones. I was trying to make a sale today but could not concentrate because the elderly gentleman kept slow licking his ice cream cone while I was talking.